Chapter 2.4 ~ Lifestyle Changes

Life changes, and that’s how it is. You can’t stop it, even if you wanted too, but I cant find any reason to want to. I think change is what makes life interesting, and such a brilliant thing to be a part of.

When life does change, it can be in a way we least expect. Anything can turn our world upside down in seconds, and that thing doesn’t have to be big, or powerful, not at all. That life changing thing can be as little as a a blue plus sign on a white stick of plastic.

Finding out I was pregnant was the best, and scariest thing that had ever happened in my life. My first reaction was glee, indescribable, unstoppable ecstasy. I had a little bit of me, and a little bit of Cal inside me, all mixed together, growing up, and getting ready to meet us. In the few minutes it took me to process the fact that I was a Mommy, my crazy imagination was on a rampage. Would the baby be a boy or a girl? Would they look more like Cal, or more like me? What color will it’s bedroom be? Will they be good in school? How long will it be before we have to have ‘the talk’? Where is the best university, and how long do I have to wait before we apply?

Then reality took a step forward in my mind, and I realized how hard this was going to be. Considering that we hadn’t been able to fork out for a wedding, were we financially stable enough to have a baby? And where would it sleep? We lived in a one bedroom apartment, for Berry’s sake. Suddenly, having a baby wasn’t the best thing that could have happened to us.

So, because of my own uncertainty, I decided not to tell Calypso straight away. In fact, he was the last person I told.

The first person I told was my Mom and Dad, via email, so as not to rick Cal overhearing out phone conversation. Then I messaged Lavender, Eminence, and Seance, to tell then the good news. After the first time, it was a lot easier to type the words “I’m having a baby.” without having a panic attack.

After my family, I had to talk with my boss. I knew that most people would want a maternity leave, but I had decided that work was too important, and we needed as much cash as possible. So, I called him, and he agreed to meet me at the park, because it was his week off, and  he didn’t want anyone in the office to know that  he wasn’t actually with his Mother in Strangetown.

“Mr Slush.” I greeted, sticking out my hand, which he took with a smile.

“Mrs Icing, how are you?”

“I’m doing good, thanks.” I replied, fighting the urge to look over my shoulder for my Mother at the mention of the name ‘Mrs Icing’. ” I do need to talk to you though, concerning my.. my maternity leave.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m having a baby, sir.” I said, trying unsuccessfully to wipe the smile off my face that always found its way to my mouth when I said those words.

“Oh, wow, Violet, congratulations!”

“Thank you sir. I wanted to talk, though, about terminating my maternity leave,a nd allowing me to work through the pregnancy.”

His face crumpled into a frown, and I already had that sinking feeling inside me that told me I’d lost this battle.

“I can’t allow that.”

“Come on, Mr Slush. I’ve worked all my life, and not to mention, I need the money.”

He sighed heavily, and rose his hand, laying it on my shoulder.

“Here’s the best I can do. You take your maternity leave, for the whole time you’re supposed to, but I’ll allow you to continue writing articles. No dumpster diving, no other activities, I want work to take you no further than your desk.  I can double your maternity pay for you, since you’re still working part time, and everyone wins.”

I mulled it over in my head, torn. I really wanted to be able to work full time like I always had, but his looked like the best I could get.

“It’s a deal.” I said, forcing a smile, before waving goodbye.

Now there was only one person left to tell.

“Hey Cal.” I said, trying to mask me nerves. I was so sure that he would resent the baby, and all the costs it would bring.

“Mmmm?”

“I have some important news for you.”

“Shoot.”

“Okay, hun. I’m just going to come out and say it. We’re having a baby!”

I watched as the bored look on his face changed to one of utter shock. Obviously he was feeling all the emotions I had felt when I first found out, only the fear and confusion hit him first. When the silence from him stretched on, and on, I felt the butterflies start to well up in my belly. Then again, it could have been the baby moving inside me, I wasn’t too sure of that feeling yet.

“We’re having a baby? WE’RE HAVING A BABY!” he cried, face breaking out in excitement.

He then scooped me up in a hug, spun me around, and in my landing mashed his lips into  mine, too excited to consider how awkward and messy this kiss was. Then again, I didn’t care either. I was just relieved that he was happy.

“I love you.” he whispered onto my lips, before pulling away and bringing his hand down to my stomach, which had the tiniest of bumps.

“And I love you too, little one.” He said, before looking up at me, a big smile on his face.

“This’ll be tough.” I said, voicing both our thoughts.

“Tough doesn’t mean impossible. I’ll work a bit harder, and a bit longer, and we’ll get though.”

I smiled at him, and nodded, not trusting my voice, because I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes already, stupid hormones.

Life didn’t get easier after the big reveal. Our relationship was put to the test, with Cal working every waking moment, and my being unable to truly work, I felt like a useless lump, and paired with my crazy pregnancy emotions, that usually lead to my bawling my eyes out on the bathroom, or screaming at Cal until my throat was sore. We barely talked, sometimes nothing but greetings for days at a time, but the make ups were always worth it, and it made me realize what a great husband I had, who put up with all of this, and worked non-stop just to care for me and our baby.

Change was hard, and I found it impossible to adjust. I was used to being busy all the time, but now I had to switch to Mommy Mode, and that wasn’t something I could just reach inside myself and find. Talking to my mom on the phone gave me no help. She said she took to Motherhood like a duck to water, and so I was left to wonder is that part of  me had swum out of the gene pool.

It was a few, tough months later, that Cal came up to me late at night, and, laying a hand on my belly, looked up into my eyes and said, quite simply: “I cant wait.”

I kissed him, gently, a silent thank you. Things between us had become beyond strained, and I’d convinced myself that it was because of the baby.  This gesture told me that the baby wasn’t a bad thing, but a good thing for us. It brought us close, and hadn’t pushed up apart.

We spent the rest of the night in eachothers  arms, looking at the crib set up in our room for the new arrival, and discussing names for baby berries as we did.

It was late afternoon on a Tuesday that I felt the first pang of pain run through my body. It took a few minutes for the next one to come, but by then I’d had time to realize that I was in labor. I called for Cal at the top of my voice, and he came running with the hospital bag and the car keys and within minutes we were away.

After four terrible hours of no pain medication, and Calypso nearly getting his hand broken, poor guy, we stepped out of the hospital with the newest little icing in tow.

Astral Icing, my little boy.

It took me about thirty seconds to realize what my Mom said about taking to Motherhood like a duck to water was true. As soon as I laid eyes on my little boy, I was hooked. There was a new most important thing in my life, and that was my son, and there was no turning back from that.