Chapter 3.15 ~ Reunited

Beep, Beep, Beep.

“Ugh.” I groaned, trying to force my heavy eyes open. There was an irritating beeping noise in my ear, not making my pounding headache any better.

And then I remembered.

My eyes flew open, and I think I actually gasped out loud, because she was still there. It hadn’t been a dream, or a hallucination, because right in front of my face sat Lolli, the real Lolli, hair loose down her back, bright eyes turned up to meet mine.

“Lolli.” I breathed, and it was all I could say. There were a million things I should tell her, and there were more things to ask her, but no words came, and I stayed in a silent state of shock.

“We need to talk, Zuli. Desperately need to talk. But first, I need you to know something. Something I think I’ve known for a while now, but was too much of a coward to say.” she replied seriously, standing and moving over to me.

She leaned over to me, and I moved to meet her as she kissed me gently. It was soft, and sweet, and slow. Nothing like the rushed frenzy of that night months ago, and nothing like the kisses I could have dreamed up. “I love you too.” she admitted, quietly, almost as if the words were just a breath, as she pulled away.

I didn’t know how to react. If I’d had nothing to say a moment ago, I had less than nothing to say now. Luckily, I didn’t have to, as a loud rapping knock was heard on the door to my room, and in came a doctor. She smiled at Lolli, and I, before opening her clipboard and getting to work. She took my pulse, checked my blood pressure, asked me how I felt and how I was doing.

“Well, Miss Icing, it seems you were lucky. Incredibly lucky. You have an angel with you, I think.” she announced, and I glanced at Lolli, who was looking at me with concern, though a small smile tugged at her lips as the caught my eye.

“You seem to have come out of your incident almost without harm. You’ll be pretty fatigued over the next few days, but other than that, there’s nothing wrong with you. You were rushed here so fast, and your lungs pumped quickly enough that had we not known better, we’d assume you’d just been overworked. You’ll be released later this afternoon.” she finished, giving my shoulder a friendly squeeze before leaving the room, and signalling for a nurse to organize release forms.

Three and a half hours later, a long time in the bathroom, and a fresh set of clothes later, I was out of the hospital and in Lolli’s car. Driving along the road, it was almost like old times, almost like nothing had changed since senior year. Almost.

“I called your Mom. I didn’t tell her exactly what happened, mainly because I don’t know myself. I told her you’d spent the night at my house, and would be back either tonight or tomorrow. She didn’t sound surprised. Did she even know I’d left?” Lolli explained, making turns left and right down familiar streets until we arrived to her house that she shared with her Mother. Had shared.

“No. No, she has no clue.” I replied, not looking at her.  Every time I looked at her, my heart soared, and I couldn’t let it get too high because that was only further to fall when she went back to University.

“I do not understand you, Lapis Lazuli. Not one bit.” Lolli replied, shaking her head in dismay. We got out of her car, and I walked up familiar stairs, into her house and down the hall into her bedroom. The house looked uncharacteristically empty, lacking her mother’s loud personality, and a moment later Lolli confirmed that her Mother was away this weekend. That left us alone to talk.

Suddenly I was nervous.

“I think you need to explain a few things to me Zu. Start with last night.”

I took a deep breath before starting. “After you left, I got into a bad place. I missed you, Lolli, so much. It was stupid, absolutely idiotic. I had never loved anyone so much before in my life, and suddenly you weren’t there anymore, and I was left alone. I – I. I started drinking, a lot. I closed everyone out, drove my family away, and gave up. Last night was me giving in to the pressure.”

“You were going to kill yourself.” she stated, not looking at me. I couldn’t tell if she was shocked, or surprised, but I didn’t expect so. She was the one who’d found me of course. She seemed more..hurt, than anything. I wanted to go over and hug her, tell her I was sorry and that nothing was her fault, but right now, I had no clue where we stood, so I thought it better to stay to myself and wait.

Waiting, it seemed, was the right choice. She stood like a flash, and was beside me, pulling me towards her until we were both perched on her bed, before I could even register her moving. She put a hand on the back of my head gently, and brought her face close to mine, so close I could feel her breath on my skin and see each individual eyelash that framed her eyes.

When she opened her mouth to speak, I expected soft words, but her voice was hard and firm, though quiet. “Listen to me now. Never, ever ever, no matter what happens, do anything like that sugar you tried to pull last night again. You hear me? I need you, Zu. Do not ever give up on everything you have. You’ve not had it easy so far, I know, but the girl I fell in love with knows how to work things out. Never again.”

I knew I should respond, but the words ‘fell in love with’ ran through my head like a toddler on sugar, fast and spiralling out of control. I nodded slowly as she pulled away.

“I promise.”

“Good. Is there anything else?”

“No, I don’t think so.” I replied, suddenly appalled that all the pain I had felt in the last few months could have been summed up in a few moments.

“You said you started, uh drinking. Is that a problem, Zu? Honestly, is it?” she asked, not looked at me when she did. Her cheeks were a bit pinker than normal, and I think she was embarrassed to ask.

I shook my head no, “It was always a choice to go out. A choice to drink. A choice that I don’t think I’ll make again as long as -” I was about to say ‘as long as you’re here’, but that might qualify as guilting her into staying in Zephyr Hills, something she might not want to do. “As long as I can remember who I am.”

I thought that covered it well enough.

“Good. Great. That’s a plus.” she replied, smiling.

“What about you? You’re supposed to be away at school, Lolli. What happened to that? And how did you find me? And-” I started, ready to voice my mile-long list of questions, when she put her hand up to stop me.

“Whoa there. Let me talk, then ask questions after wards. Okay?” I nodded, and she continued. “After that party at Pickle’s house, I have to say I was pretty confused. Okay, I was fudging thrown. I had no clue what happened, what I felt, or what to do with it all. So I went home, and I sobered up, and I thought- You might not want to hear this, but it’s true – I thought everything through, and I decided that I hated you. I thought that you’d faked a friendship to get closer to me, or some sugar like that. I knew I couldn’t go back to being friends with you, and at that point I didn’t want to. So I told my Mom that I’d go to the school she wanted, because I knew it was far away, somewhere you wouldn’t follow me, and it was all decided. I was enrolled within the week, I changed my whole style for the whole ‘living away from home, adult and sophisticate, all new girl’ thing, and then off to Briocheport. Then I drove by your house, and I knew I had to go in to say goodbye. Even if you’d made me feel hurt, and lied to, I still missed you. So in I went, and well, you know how that went. I came out, and I cried my way to Briocheport. When I got there, I expected it to get better, but it didn’t. I got worse and worse. I couldn’t settle into my dorm, couldn’t make new friends, or go and party. Nothing. I stayed holed up in my bedroom, watching movies, and thinking about us. Or really, the lack there of. I thought of everything we did together, and how I felt about you. You make me happy, Zu, really happy. I laugh with you, I sing with you, I feel comfortable around you, you get me, I get you, and well – isn’t that love? I figured that out a bit late though, and then I had another choice. University, or you?” she stopped to breathe, and shook her head, laughing a little to herself.

“Well, in the end, it was no choice. If I’ve learned anything from watching sappy movies and reading soul-shattering novels, it’s that you can’t let love pass you by. So I got my stuff packed, told the office I was leaving, phoned my Mom to tell her the same thing, it sounded like she was expecting that call, actually, and got in my car and drove back. Before I even came home, I went to see you. Or really, I started to. Then I saw your brother, Astral that is, in the street and pulled over to talk to him. I asked him where you were, and he looked at me and got really angry, muttering something about the Sweet Cider and where else would she be. I was very, VERY, confused, but I at least had to check this place out, if you weren’t home. And as soon as I came in, I saw you, talking to some woman. I left for a minute then, to make a plan. Approach you? Leave you be? Wait? I decided on the last one, and sat in my car and waited. I must have fallen asleep, or something, because when I look up again, there you are in the distance. I manage to catch up to you after a while, and I see you on the beach and -. I don’t want to think about that bit. All I know is that I came back here for you, Zu, and if you’ll have me, I’d like to make us a permanent thing.”

I stared at her, catching her breath after the long story, and I smiled. Then I beamed, then I laughed.

“Have you? Lolli, what would I do without you? Actually, I know what, and it’s not to pleasant. I love you.” I burst out, words tumbling over each other in their hurry to be known.

“I love you too.” she beamed, and closed the gap between us again. This time the kiss was different. Not soft, not fierce, but magical. Magical because it was our first kiss as a couple, first kiss of love shared equally by both parties, enough of the stuff to fill the world twice. I loved her, and she loved me, and that was all I wanted, and all I’d ever need.